You know that you have done a “good” job bringing up you kids for more reasons than one. I put the word “good” in quotes, because there is no one way to be a good parent. Some Moms will never believe they’re good enough, and of course if we go based on our children or society’s standards, we’ll never feel 100% good about anything. So the first step to self-validating our Mom status is to accept that “good” is a wide definition, created by many people’s parenting styles.
That said, I do believe there are some telltale signs that your parenting hasn’t fallen on deaf ears.
SIGN #1: Your kids have a moral compass.
I find that if your kids grow up with good morals, have respect for themselves and respect for others, and are generally good souls, then you’ve done a “good” job. If your kids have a general sense of right and wrong, good from bad, and are “good” at making smart choices, then you’ve done well.
SIGN #2: Your kids want to be more independent.
If it were up to me, I’d have my kids under my roof through their retirement. So, it was really my kids that pushed themselves out of the nest. What helped me through this tough stage was realizing that their independence was a sign of my good parenting. I had encouraged my kids to be their own selves. That’s “good” right? After a bit of self-pep talk, I eventually realized their leaving the house was the right thing to do, that it was a sign of their healthy and solid foundation.
SIGN #3: Your kids follow your advice after the 3rd (and not 30th) time.
When my kids were growing up, I felt like a broken record. I would find so many ways to give them the same advice in 10 different ways. Suddenly, my out-of-the-house adult children are no longer needing me to repeat everything over and over. My kids take my advice!! (OK, sometimes.)
At first, I was a little scared that they were just brushing me off by saying, “yeah, ok.” Then I realized they were agreeing and actually taking my advice. My kids appreciated my advice, and that was a sign that somewhere along the way I had done a “good” job of establishing a relationship and trust.
SIGN #4: Your kids still tell you you’re annoying.
It’s in our nature (as parents) to do just about anything for our kids. It’s in our DNA to get overly involved and emotionally invested, and to completely forget how old our kids are, and what they need at this stage of their lives. Right?
I’ll admit, it’s definitely annoying.
When my kids yell “Mom, you’re STILL so annoying!” I’ve come to realize that that’s actually a great sign. My inability to let go at times, and forget when to just let my kids be their own selves, is actually a sign that I’m still doing my job as a Mom.
Between us, I still need to train myself to not jump in right away to help my kids, instead to let them handle things on their own. It’s hard to change, but on the bright side, I take it as a sign that it’s still me underneath it all.